Friday, May 1, 2009

Climbing Mount Everest

mount-everest-summit …especially these days. Even in good times, its bad news that sells. News media after all is ultimately a money-making venture which seeks to satisfy the voyeuristic lusts of the masses in order to sell space to advertisers. Human beings have a curiosity and a hunger to gawk at the sufferings and ill-fortune of others. It takes our attention away from the problems at home. In a rather macabre way, it is a relief to know that others have it worse than we do.

And if we watch or read the news day after day and turn away from it without doing anything positive with what we’ve seen or heard, then we are forced to admit that it has served no greater purpose for us than to be a voyeuristic distraction and fodder for another session of bitching and moaning.

Often I have found myself in a desperate search for a distraction…something… anything that will take my attention away, even for a few moments, from my own anxieties, problems and pain. But I cannot shoulder the weight of the world. In my struggle with depression I have often had to wean myself from the news, for weeks or months at a time, in order to survive. And I don’t feel guilty about it in the least.

I try my best to be a loving father and “dad” to my daughter, a respectful and caring son to my aged parents, a gentle caretaker to my pet cats, and a responsible steward of the part of the planet within my reach. And for now, this is my mission and my task, my reason for living and breathing each day. It is all I can handle.

It is also the reason why I have not been blogging since my I initial burst of creativity. I never dreamed that it would take so much energy and discipline to sit down and write something on a regular basis. But then again, it should not have come as a surprise to someone for whom simply getting dressed, all too often feels like an attempt on Mt. Everest.