Monday, February 9, 2009

Sitting intimately close to my SAD light

Its morning... no, nix that, its 12:15pm. It feels like its morning because I just got out of bed about 30 minutes ago. My sleep cycle has got me completely screwed, which is amazing because that hasn't happened in an embarrassingly long time, and I'm assuming never will again.

(Start of Digression...)
However, I have found that the thing I miss most is simply soul-intimacy with that other human being. To mingle physically with that other person is certainly exciting and fun... I think, I don't really remember... but even though I am a guy, my lengthy time of being alone has caused me to realize that what s~x (am I allowed to type that word here?) was really pointing at (for me, and I think for most people even if they think its just for recreation) is a much deeper place than physicality can ever take you. We want to be known, totally opened up to someone with our entire being, and still accepted unconditionally and loved, and know the other person is not going to run away in fright or disgust. Anyway, if I was forced to choose between physical intimacy (and romance, which I feel is highly overrated... its all about projecting your fantasies on some poor fool, which isn't fair and it sets you up for disappointment... like "You complete me" & "You had me at hello" which will always be the movie lines I've come to most hate - yuck!...) and the much deeper intimacy it seeks to express or find (whether or not it is admitted), I would take the broader more satisfying "love"... soulful intimacy... extreme friendship... love in the truest sense. I have found there is a broad central core of LOVE that has different expressions for different types of relationships, i.e. couples, parent-child, friends, etc. But the broader central essence of LOVE, I have found, at least for me, is the same stuff. My daughter has taught me more about unconditional love, forgiveness, humility, saying I'm sorry, than any other relationship. And what I have learned in that school of parenting I am able to use in how I interact with others.

Now I'm getting wordy and preachy...
(End of Digression...)

Oh hell, I'm just going to post this and make the rest part II or whatever. I've exhausted myself. I can't stick with the program today. Its not at all what I was going to write about, but I just keep branching. You should see the rest of what I have written this morning, that I am not posting right now. I'm all over the place. It would be fine if you were actually here sharing a cup of coffee with me (or tea... I've got decaf... or hot water... you name it). But its so hard to write from top to bottom of the page sometimes. Its confining.

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11 comments:

Mark Krusen said...

Peter,
I rather liked the line "you had me at hello". There is something about the way Renee plays her parts that just speaks to me. She isn't overly beautiful but she seems to have a flair for the part.

I'm wondering how you got a copy of that picture of me and my wife for your blog. Notice the wings on the man. Quite the way it should be don't you think. {That should get Stephany's attention}

Pyrs said...

@Mark - Yeah, but the main problem with that Renee's line is that she was forced to say it to Tom Cruise.
Thanks for all the laughs your posts give me Mark!
-Pete

Pyrs said...

@Mark - Thanks for pointing out that the only the guy had wings. And the woman looks so happy that he is saving her from herself.
-Pete

Cheryl said...

I'm glad you hit the post button. Your post touched me. I understand about the soulful intimacy and unconditional love. My girls have taught me so much about unconditional love and of course humility. It's what keeps me striving to be a better person, in my relationships with others.

I hope you can get your sleep cycles back to normal. I know if my sleep cycles start to go off, it is a huge red flag, that I'm heading down that road of depression.

Have a good night, and thanks so much for visiting my blog.

Pyrs said...

@Cheryl - Yeah. And I am having nightmares that I have not had for some time. I thought I had worked that stuff out several months ago. But they're back. I am really bad about keeping to a structure. And sleep is so important, that I really hope to make a point of getting to bed earlier. I do try to stop drinking coffee at a reasonable hour. Which is one proactive step I've taken at least.

Stephany said...

Yes, those wings did get my attention Mark! So did the painting.

I find all interpretations interesting, because we are all coming from different angles when discussing love and relationships.

I believe in soul mates.

Stephany said...

PS--Interesting interpretation of the man saving the woman from herself. I think that love sometimes means we gently lead each other back to ourselves, it's an endless circle.

Stan said...

Dear Pete:

Serious this time around!

Quote "@Mark - Thanks for pointing out that the only the guy had wings. And the woman looks so happy that he is saving her from herself."
-Pete

Ok, maybe I way off base here, but love seldom is all about saving anyone from themselves. At least I sure hope it isn't, since that would kind of take self determination and self esteem out of the picture, let alone set up an imbalance of power. That imbalance of power I believe is a sure fire way to destroy a partner relationship and creates a fairly unstable foundation.

Ok, now for the sermon part {Laughing, don’t worry I won’t lay healing hands on you this time and draw out your evil demons and sin to be cleaned}; I just happen to believe love finds you. You don't go out looking for it like you would a car, house, or even a great Dog. Love in my perception is not some sort of scavenger hunt where you find exactly what you’re looking for. In fact love usually is all about finding the unexpected.
I cherish true friendship as if had more value than mere Gold or precious stones of any kind. I happen to believe it all starts in that frame work. Trust like Love is a process! Though the length of this process may vary, it is almost always essential in the outcome. So go out in the world make lots of friends, experiment even with those you never thought would interest you, weed out the ones that aren't really your friend or compatible, and let the unexpected be expected for a change. I know that’s kind of a simple way of looking at a very complex issue and term (LOVE). But that's enough for now on this front from yours truly.

Stan

Gianna said...

hi Pete..
did you get my email? I've seen you all around since I sent it so I'm wondering...

you've hit the blogosphere sorta like an asteroid! Go Pete!

Pyrs said...

@Stan

I agree wholeheartedly with what you wrote.

Actually, I must... let it be known, that my comment in response to Mark's humorous observation (to get Stephany's ire up) that the male in Bougereaus painting had wings while the female did not, was totally tongue-in-cheek as well, i.e. that the wing-ed guy heroicly is saving the fair damsel from herself.

I'll have to start putting "wink, wink" statements or smileys ;) in my comments until folks get to know me better.

I'm seldom serious except when I am.

Mark Krusen said...

Pete,

Be careful when you wink at Stan.If it becomes evident that you are connecting with him. We will have to install a camera in your house. Isn't it scary when he gets serious? Is that argyle socks your wearing?

Love must be blind. Have you seen a good picture of me lately?

On sleep cycles. I'm way off too. Look what time I'm commenting.