Sitting intimately close to my SAD light

Its morning... no, nix that, its 12:15pm. It feels like its morning because I just got out of bed about 30 minutes ago. My sleep cycle has got me completely screwed, which is amazing because that hasn't happened in an embarrassingly long time, and I'm assuming never will again.

(Start of Digression...)
However, I have found that the thing I miss most is simply soul-intimacy with that other human being. To mingle physically with that other person is certainly exciting and fun... I think, I don't really remember... but even though I am a guy, my lengthy time of being alone has caused me to realize that what s~x (am I allowed to type that word here?) was really pointing at (for me, and I think for most people even if they think its just for recreation) is a much deeper place than physicality can ever take you. We want to be known, totally opened up to someone with our entire being, and still accepted unconditionally and loved, and know the other person is not going to run away in fright or disgust. Anyway, if I was forced to choose between physical intimacy (and romance, which I feel is highly overrated... its all about projecting your fantasies on some poor fool, which isn't fair and it sets you up for disappointment... like "You complete me" & "You had me at hello" which will always be the movie lines I've come to most hate - yuck!...) and the much deeper intimacy it seeks to express or find (whether or not it is admitted), I would take the broader more satisfying "love"... soulful intimacy... extreme friendship... love in the truest sense. I have found there is a broad central core of LOVE that has different expressions for different types of relationships, i.e. couples, parent-child, friends, etc. But the broader central essence of LOVE, I have found, at least for me, is the same stuff. My daughter has taught me more about unconditional love, forgiveness, humility, saying I'm sorry, than any other relationship. And what I have learned in that school of parenting I am able to use in how I interact with others.

Now I'm getting wordy and preachy...
(End of Digression...)

Oh hell, I'm just going to post this and make the rest part II or whatever. I've exhausted myself. I can't stick with the program today. Its not at all what I was going to write about, but I just keep branching. You should see the rest of what I have written this morning, that I am not posting right now. I'm all over the place. It would be fine if you were actually here sharing a cup of coffee with me (or tea... I've got decaf... or hot water... you name it). But its so hard to write from top to bottom of the page sometimes. Its confining.